Meet the Fauxlafels
It was the turn of the last Century when the intrepid explorer Horation Postlethwaite returned to the Kingdom of Bury St Edmunds having travelled the Silk Road from its source. He returned with a pair of curious creatures the like of which had not been seen upon our shores. He named the species ‘Fauxlafel’.
On reaching his estate, Postlethwaite proudly introduced his Farm Manager to these remarkable animals. Once old Farmer Kesey had recovered his equilibrium, the wise old bird could clearly see what a whole herd of them could mean for the Kingdom and lost no time in putting his freshly hatched plan into action.
Now, under the ministrations and tutelage of the Farm Manager’s Grandson, Ol’ Ken, the lands around Ravenwood Towers are alive with the sounds of snuffling, humming and “wheeee” as these wondrous, gentle animals enjoy their favourite pursuits.
Yes the full history of the Fauxlafel is shrouded in mystery. Many Men of Darwinian Science have tried and failed to trace the origin of their species. All that is certain is that somewhere in the mysterious East there is a hidden place where a herd of Fauxlafel roam in splenge isolation. Maybe they even pass down a tale of the Adventurous Pair who left their enchanted enclave to explore what lays beyond with a strange creature sporting remarkable plumage.
Signed
Your faithful servant,
AKA The Raving Parrot – The ‘Wise Old Bird’
The Adventurous Pair
the origin of their species is shrouded in mystery
Young Fauxlafeline Queen of the Flowers
Fiancé of 'Sukeyoshi of the Shibui'
An abundance of flowers, provides a striking and vibrant backdrop at Ravenwood Towers – even during the Winter months. ‘Fauxlafeline Queen of the Flowers’ possesses magical powers – wherever she treads, flowers wondrously appear.
Fuzzle
Emperor of the Fauxlafels
The first born of the ‘Adventurous Pair’, he was appointed Leader of the Fauxlafels. He certainly has his work cut out - they can be an unruly lot. Fuzzle eats nothing but pumpkins and has his own personal pumpkin allotment and private stash. Woe betide if he catches any of the other Fauxlafels trying to steel his prize squash.
Amelia Airheart
Intrepid Aviator
Amelia loves to fly and is the team leader of ‘The Blue Hats Low-Level Synchronised Ballooning Team’ who put on daring displays all around the world. Although well travelled, Amelia loves nothing more than the serenity of drifting over Ravenwood’s ‘Land of Linerless’.
Filibert Cousteau
Master Aquanaut
Naval officer, explorer, conservationist, filmmaker, innovator, scientist, photographer, author and researcher, he has studied the sea and all forms of life in water. He co-developed the ‘Aqua-Fauxlafel-lung’, pioneered marine conservation and is a member of many secret societies. Filibert now spends most of his time snorkelling in the Great Lake at Ravenwood Towers.
Fauxlafeline Kelly
Silver Screen Starlet
‘A’ list movie goddess who is best remembered for her Raven Award winning performances alongside Faux. Her depiction of Frances Stevens in Alfred Hitchcock’s remake of, ‘To Catch a Thief’ being a regarded as a seminal moment in movie history.
Faux Grant
Silver Screen Idol
Faux rocketed to fame when he was cast alongside Fauxlafeline Kelly in ‘To Catch a Thief’. Both are known for their crazy demands and tumultuous tantrums and at the height of his fame, Faux wore a different tie in each shot of multi-award winning caper ‘Fauxlafels of Ravenwood Hills’.
Fauxkola Tesla
Inventor of Our VXR® System
The ‘Child of Light’ was struck by lightening at birth during a ferocious storm in a field of carrots. By age four, Tesla had already discovered X-rays and then went on to become a physicist and futurist. Tesla is an eccentric soul with a wicked sense of humour. He also has a photographic memory and a very odd aversion to pearls.
Sukeyoshi of the Shibui
Resident Fauxlafel Greenskeeper
Although quite shy and retiring, Sukeyoshi loves nothing more than tending and talking to all of the flora and foliage at Ravenwood Towers. Being fiancé to Fauxlafeline Queen of the Flowers, he does struggle to keep up with all the flowers though and often loses his voice. They are yet to set a date for the wedding.
The Great Lafauxlafette
Virtuoso
Meet the most mysterious Fauxlafel of them all. His magical powers are so great that he is a ‘Profound Adept’ member of The Magic Circle. A master of seemingly impossible stunts and illusions, The Great Lafauxlafette loves nothing more than to break locks, escape submerged boxes, get out of straitjackets, time travel and to make himself and various objects disappear
Sir Fauxalot
Defender of the Fauxlafels, Sovereign of Linerless
Our bravest and most trustworthy Fauxlafel of them all. Aside from protecting the Fauxlafel family, his mission is to guard the ‘Circle of Linerless’ and all who dwell within it. The ‘Circle of Linerless’ is a bond of trust and honour forged over the years with the Ravenwood approved network of suppliers and distributors.
Fauxpa and Old Fauxgey
Couple of 'Old Muppets'
These crazy ol’ coots are known for their cantankerous opinions and shared penchant for heckling! The grumpy old pair are not very popular with the other Fauxlafel family members due to their constant insults and derogatory humour. Visitors to Ravenwood are also offended by them on a regular basis.
The Bleatles
The First Fauxlafel Supergroup
Introducing our very own ‘Faux Four’ as you have never seen them before! You can find our Psychedelic sages constantly ‘on tour’ around the hills of Ravenwood. Their latest single pays tribute to our x-ray inspection system, the VXR, aptly titled; ‘The Silvery Machine’.
Our linerless labels can be found along all major supermarkets aisles
